Stronger
by sol invictus
Summary: A younger Cody deals with his parents' divorce with Zack's help.


_Yeah. I don't own it._

It was still early, not quite nine yet, and Cody sat on the swing hung beneath the huge oak tree with his arms draped across his lap. Dew was still heavy on the grass and wisps of fog still held court down by the creek. The wind ruffled through his hair and carried the sounds of distant birds and a barking dog to his ears while the sunlight gently warmed his skin. He swiped one palm at the wetness in his eyes and wiped it away on his shorts, sighing.

He'd had that dream again, the one where Dad showed up with hot dogs and promised everything is going to go back to the way it was and they'd all be happy again, only to wake up to the light sounds of Zack snoring nearby and the television playing in the other room. No Dad.

Cody had tried to force himself back to sleep so he could return to the happy dream but gave up after a few minutes' effort. No, that simply wasn't an option this morning. Rarely was after that dream, really. He rolled himself from the bed (a much higher drop than he'd had at home) and dropped quietly to the floor, his pajama pants swishing against themselves as he walked, and began to dig some clothes out from their bureau.

Cody dug and dug, trying to find one shirt in particular. It was red and white, long-sleeved, and decorated with a large rocket blasting off on the front. Dad had bought it for him earlier that year, back before, well...you know. The Thing happened. He finally found it pushed way in the back of the bottom drawer and quickly exchanged it with his pajama top. He imagined he could still smell a bit of Dad's smell on it, faint, but still there, and it brought a slight smile to his face. He shucked his bottoms and pulled on a pair of denim shorts and left the room.

Cody trailed a small hand along the wall as he walked down the hallway to the bathroom. A flush later he toed the little stool in front of the sink and climbed up to wash his hands and brush his teeth. He smiled at himself in the mirror, toothpaste all over his mouth, but it quickly faded when he saw that there were only three brushes in the cup beside "Aunt" Jolene's instead of the expected four. He frowned as he rinsed his face and mouth.

Down the hallway again he plodded, this time heading the opposite direction for the kitchen and living room. The dull sound of television people echoed from the living room, while the strong smell of coffee came from the kitchen accompanied by the sound of Aunt Jolene singing to herself.

Cody turned to his left and saw Jolene smearing some jelly over two pieces of toast. She was one of his mother's friends, very cool from what Mom had said about her on the trip out here. She towered over Cody, every bit of nineteen feet tall to his eyes, with long red hair that curled its way mostly down her back and every other way it could..

"'Mornin', sugar," she said to him. "You hungry?" She slid a plate under one of the pieces just as he was about to tell her he wasn't.

"Maybe..."

Jolene motioned him to the table and pulled a chair out for him. Cody slid into it and she set the plate in front of him as she pushed him in a bit closer. "Juice?"

"Yes, please." A few seconds later a mug of orange juice was sitting nearby. Jolene dropped another two pieces of bread in the toaster and started to eat the other while it got ready. She leaned back against the counter, coffee mug in one hand, grape jellied toast in the other and alternated as she watched Cody. She grinned as she saw his little legs kick back an forth as he ate.

"What's got you up so early today, kiddo?" she said to him after they'd each taken a few bites.

"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep," he replied, smiling at her when she winked at him. In the week or so that they'd been staying with Jolene, Cody had quickly grown fond of her. He'd almost immediately decided that she was one of those people who were genuinely nice. And she smelled good, like cookies or something. He didn't know what the scent was but he liked it.

"You'll get used to the bed soon, Cody. I know it's still a bit strange to you yet." Cody shrugged and took another sip from his mug. He knew why he couldn't sleep.

The toaster popped again and Cody watched as she deftly covered the bread and dropped another piece on his plate in addition to one on her own. "Hot hot hot," she whispered as it left her fingers and fell before him and he couldn't help but grin. He considered protesting that he wasn't really that hungry but the smell of it quickly changed his mind.

"Thank you."

"Welcome, kiddo. You're growing like a weed so I figured you needed it."

"What were you singing when I came in?" Cody asked her after he had eaten about half of the second piece.

Jolene put her finger under her chin for a moment as she tried to think back. "Oh, that? It was an old Skid Row song."

"I think I've heard it before."

"I'm sure you have, Cody. It's one of your mother's favorites."

"She sings it in the shower a lot." Jolene laughed as he said that.

"That doesn't surprise me at all." She finished her coffee and set the mug on the counter while she pondered another cup. Jolene decided that another was in order and poured one while Cody watched. "Did your mother ever tell you the story about that song, Cody?"

"Uh-uh."

"Well, back when she and I were freshmen in college and Skid Row was her favorite band, back when the world was still in black and white," Cody snickered at that part, "the two of us struck off for a weekend in Chicago. We were two broke-as-a-joke college girls who scraped up just enough money to get there. Our plan was to meet the band and and be invited to the show or, if that failed, find a way to sneak in." Cody's eyes widened at the thought of his mom doing anything less than legal. Jolene smirked.

"We never got to meet the band and we never could find a way to sneak in that wasn't watched by big, burly security guards so we gave up. We were about to start figuring a way to get back to the campus when we passed this little bar that had a free show starting in a few minutes. 'Carey,' I told your mother, 'we are going to see a concert while we're in town after all.' She of course asked me if I thought they'd know any Skid Row songs.

"So we're in there having a few beers before the band got ready," she said as his eyes lit up again. "Yes, your mother drank. Not very well, but she did. Have her tell you about our trip to the lake when you're a few years older. Anyway, they started playing and went through a number of songs before the lead singer said that the next song went out to everyone who couldn't get in to see the show down the street and they started playing her song." She put her mug on the counter and grinned at Cody. "Let me tell you what, boy-o, I've never seen your momma act as crazy as she was that night and I probably never will again.

"She heard the first few chords and started flailing around," Jolene paused in her story to demonstrate exactly how silly Carey had looked much to Cody's amusement. "About the time the song was ending she poked me in the ribs and asked me if I thought the guitarist was cute. I told her I didn't know because I only had eyes for the lead singer and your mother yelled in my ear 'He keeps smiling at me'.

"Well, before I knew it, the show was over and your mother and I were sitting at a table with some of the band. Have any idea who that guitarist might have been, Cody?"

"Nope," he said as he finished his toast.

"He was your father."

"Really?" Cody looked excited for a moment before a bit of sadness swam over his face.

"Oh Cody, I'm sorry. That probably wasn't the best story to tell you right now."

"No, it's okay," he said, but from the look on his face it was obvious to Jolene that it wasn't. "I think I'm going to go out in the yard for a while now." He slid his chair back and placed his plate in the sink as he walked to the screen door.

"Oh yeah, that was brilliant, Jolene, brilliant," she said to herself in a very mocking voice after he was down the steps and heading out into the back yard. Her coffee suddenly tasted bitter so she dumped it down the sink and watched Cody's retreating form.

Cody wandered the yard for a little while before ending up near the garden. He stepped inside and was immediately lost to the rest of the world as the tall runners of beans and other things he didn't have names for buried him from sight. Dad. Cody kicked a small stone and listened as it bounced along the dirt before landing somewhere in the middle of a clump of green something or other.

He felt the tears coming but tried to fend them off with thoughts of ice cream and cartoons. It was a useless proposition and he soon found himself sitting on the ground with streams running down his cheeks. This wasn't fair. Families were supposed to be forever.

Eventually the rivers began to dry up as Cody cried himself out. He sniffled a few times and wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeve and picked himself up off the ground. Cody wound his way out of the maze-like rows of corn and beans and whatever else and found himself back in the cool, damp grass.

A low-throated _woof!_ startled Cody and he jumped a few inches off the ground. He turned around to see Spot wagging his entire body as the huge dog came toward him. Spot, who had no spots anywhere on his black coat as far as Cody could tell, padded up to him and drooled. Cody wasn't afraid of dogs as a whole but Spot...Spot wasn't much shorter than he was and probably weighed at least three times what Cody did. He swallowed hard and flinched as Spot licked him. He could be this creature's breakfast in an instant. Once he was sure he wasn't going to be a McCody croissant, Cody reached a hand down and stroked Spot's muzzle.

When they'd first arrived and met Spot, Jolene had said he was part black lab and part something else that he now couldn't remember. The something else didn't matter much to Cody since he knew in his soul that the other half was obviously an elephant.

"I don't feel much like playing now, Spot," Cody said to the dog but he might as well have been talking to a furry brick wall. He'd turned to walk away and Spot nosed him in the rear. "Hey! Cut it out, Spot!" He cried indignantly and briefly thought about swatting the dog's nose before deciding he rather liked having a left hand.

Spot herded him another few steps before dashing away and returning with a very worn and slippery tennis ball. "Oh yuck," Cody said as Spot shoved it at him. "If I throw it will you leave me alone for a little while?" Instead of an answer Cody received an expectant look. "Okay, but just this once." He wound back and let the ball fly, noting with a frown that it went higher than it did far, and watched Spot tear up little pieces of dirt and grass as he raced after it. While the dog chased the bouncing ball who knows where, he made his way over to the large oak tree in the corner of the yard and sat on the ancient swing beneath it.

And now, dear readers, we reach the point where we first entered into Cody's little story. He'd tossed the ball a few more times to Spot before the dog found something else to interest him and left Cody gently swaying in the morning's breeze. He'd a few more cases of the sniffles and the occasional hitching breath in his chest since Spot took off but he was getting himself under control.

It was shortly before the time we arrived in Iowa that Zack awoke. He had been in the middle of a deep and utterly bizarre dream when something from the far recesses in his mind began dragging him toward consciousness. He fought, as all kids do, but to no avail. The feeling was overpowering and its pull unstoppable. His defenses shattered, Zack lazily raised one eyelid and peered at the world around him. Nothing seemed to register for the first fraction of a second, like he was staring into Wildspace, but everything slowly swam into focus. The sun had just started to rise, something smelled good in the air, and Cody wasn't in his bed.

That in itself wasn't a surprise. Cody never was anything but an early riser, even on the weekends, but it was the unmade bed that didn't feel right. Zack rolled over onto his side and looked around the room one last time before he dropped from the bed to the floor. Where was he? He briefly considered changing clothes but decided it wasn't vital to the cause so he left their room in his soft cotton pajamas.

He heard the water running from the bathroom and noise coming from the living room. It seemed that everyone but him was already up and at it today. As Zack stepped into the kitchen he saw through blurry eyes Jolene standing with one shoulder against the wall and her gaze directed out the window. He wiped away the yuck with his fingers and blinked a few times to clear everything up. "G'morning, Aunt Jolene. Where's Cody?" She jumped a bit and turned in his direction.

"He's outside, Zack. Either down by the creek or the tree, I think. You hungry? Toast? Cereal?"

"No thanks," Zack said as he slipped out the door seconds later.

Jolene watched another little blond head and skinny body leave light tracks in the damp grass before she moved away from the window and started making a real breakfast. A few pieces of toast would hold neither Cody nor her over for very long and Zack and Carey hadn't eaten at all yet. Eggs, bacon, and a few other things soon graced the counters and before long the air was ripe with the smells of a home-cooked breakfast.

Carey soon joined her in the kitchen, freshly showered and wrapped in a robe and her hair pulled back under an orange bandanna. "Good morning, Jo," she said as she pulled a mug from the cabinet above the sink. "You already kick the boys out of the house this morning?" Carey grinned as she poured herself some coffee.

"I think I sort of accidentally kicked Cody out earlier and Zack went out just a few minutes ago," Jolene told her, continuing as she saw the puzzled look in Carey's eyes. "When he came out into the kitchen I was singing our old song and before I even thought about where the story led, I'd told him about the two of us in Chicago and you meeting Kurt. He was all smiles before before but he looked like he'd just seen a ghost and went outside pretty quick after that."

"Jo, don't worry about it. It's just something that we're going to have to get through."

"I know, but I wasn't trying to be the one to bring it up like that. I--"

"Jo, it's okay. It's going to take a little getting used to, on both my part and the boys', but we'll get past it. It's just going to take some time. But in the meantime, I don't want you walking around on eggshells. This is your house, you know, and we're guests here."

"Yeah...but they're so little, Carey."

"They might be little but they're tough. I'll be fine, they'll be fine, we'll be fine. I promise." She refilled Jolene's mug and said "Now let's eat, huh? I'm hungry."

Zack zipped along the ground scanning his head this way and that looking for a sign of his brother. He hoped that Cody wasn't by the creek because of all the sharp little rocks that littered the path down to it but if he was Zack would march down like a little soldier and deal with cut-up soles later. He rounded the corner and saw his brother sitting on the swing and gave a small sigh of relief.

Spot was laying a few yards away from Cody, he noticed, and the monster was busy gnawing away on a bone easily the size of Zack's arm. He wrapped his arms around himself without even realizing it and gave the dog a wide berth. Cody might not have been scared of dogs but he was. Just a little. Zack nearly jumped a mile when Spot looked up and noticed him. "G-good doggy," he whispered as he walked up behind Cody. Spot snorted and went back to his bone.

Cody turned as he heard his brother's voice. "Hey Zack," he said in a weak voice.

"Hey Cody." Zack stopped directly beside his brother and looked at him. Red eyes, the leftovers of a runny nose. "Are you okay?" Even at the ripe old age of six and three quarters he knew the answer to that but he asked anyway.

Cody sniffed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Zack put his hands on his hips. "You don't look fine. You been cryin'?"

"Maybe a little," Cody told him after a moment. He didn't answer right away because he didn't want Zack to think he was a baby. Zack smiled at him, that goofy grin of his, and Cody found himself returning it even though he didn't feel it inside.

"Is it over Dad?" Zack was pretty sure he knew the answer to this as well.

"No," Cody lied. "Yes. I guess." He sniffed.

Zack was at a loss. He knew his brother was hurting but he didn't know how to help. He could feel the pain behind Cody's eyes but didn't know what to do about it. "I miss him too," he said after he found his voice. He next did the only thing he could thing of; he stepped behind Cody and gave him a push. Cody's fingers instantly tightened on the old ropes as he swung forward, his body jarring slightly from the unexpected motion.

"I keep dreaming about him, Zack," Cody offered after a few pushes. "He shows up and we're a happy family again."

"Remember what Mom and Dad told us, Cody? When they sat us down?"

"I do. I still miss him though."

"It's just like he's out playing with the band, you know? He's on tour again."

"No it's not. It's nothing like that, Zack." Cody put his feet down and stopped the swing and hopped off. "When he goes out with the band he comes home." He crossed his arms and looked at Zack. "It's not like that at all."

Zack frowned. "Alright, so maybe it's not like that." He walked around to the other side of the swing and sat down on it. "Mom said we'd see him again."

"It's still different." He took a few steps closer to Zack. "When he was with the band we'd know when he was coming home." He quickly turned away and wiped his eyes. "We'd mark off days on the calendar, remember?"

Cody's gaze drifted away, seeing the two of them drawing big, crooked X's on days leading up to the one that was circled. The days would have odd words written on them; Milwaukee, Cleveland, Chicago, Indianapolis, Detroit...the only meaning those strange places had to the boys was that they were between their father and themselves. They learned to count that way, marking off the days until he'd come home.

While he was gone they'd wait quietly in the kitchen each night while Carey cleaned up after dinner. He always called around then, just as he was starting to get ready for a show and before they went off to bed. They never talked about much, nothing that would be considered important by anyone outside their family, but it was as much a ritual and as important as anything else in the world. The boys would eventually pass the phone off to their mother and leave the room all smiles.

"Come here, Cody," Zack said as he scooted over on the swing and patted his hand on the empty half of the seat. Cody's attention returned to the present and he had a wistful look on his face. He bit back a frown as he looked at his brother and started towards him.

"Sit down." Cody did, wiggling himself in beside Zack. Zack leaned forward and dug his toes into the ground and pushed them backwards. "I miss him too, Cody. I do." They swung forward gently. Cody reached up with the hand not holding the rope and wiped his damp eyes again.

They swung in silence for the next few minutes, each boy taking turns pushing off as their momentum slowed. They watched as the sun fully rose and listened to Spot lazily _woof_ at any bird that dared to land in his yard.

"Mom said we have to be strong for each other, right?" Zack said, breaking the easy silence of the morning.

"Yeah."

"Next time you feel sad come find me."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be strong for the both of us," Zack said as he slipped his free arm around his brother's shoulders. He looked his brother in the face and watched as his smile infected Cody.

"Okay," Cody whispered as he slipped his other hand around Zack's waist.


End file.
